We didn't find out much yesterday, other than that the lump on Matt's leg is not from an injury, but is some sort of tumor. That doesn't mean it is cancer, but it also doesn't rule it out. We saw one of the best doctors in the world for Sarcoma and he assured us that we are in good hands. I believe that and couldn't be more thankful. The next step will be an MRI with contrast. We are praying he will be able to get in for that before the work week ends. Depending on those results, the next step would be a biopsy.
So, for now, the waiting continues. We are taking everything as it comes. We know that God has us in His hands and that this is just another part of our journey. We pray that God will use us and this season to bring Him glory, to teach and strengthen us, and to bring others closer to Him.
I can already see God working in our lives, opening our eyes to things that we have never been aware of, revealing areas that need improvement. As mentioned in my previous post, for several months I have been feeling called to serve others more, to live intentionally. About a month ago, my church started a study in our life groups called "Interrupted", which is geared around shifting focus from self to others. The study has lined up perfectly with convictions I was already having. Now, I am praying for God to help me see the life changes that need to be made so that those things are not just something I'd like to do, but a priority, a habit in our daily living.
Being at MD Anderson yesterday, just being in the presence of so many hurting people solidified that calling for me. My heart ached for each and everyone of them. Not in the way that it use to... feeling sorry for people when in their presence, then carrying on with my own life without a second thought. I wanted to talk to them, to know their story, to hug them. When I left, I saw their faces in my head, I prayed for them and felt compelled to help some how.
If I wait for the 'right' time, when will I begin? If I wait for an obvious need to appear, how many opportunities to serve someone else will be missed? We aren't guaranteed tomorrow, so why not today?
"Jesus went through all the towns and villages, teaching in their synagogues, proclaiming the good news of the kingdom and healing every disease and sickness. When he saw the crowds, he had compassion on them, because they were harassed and helpless, like sheep without a shepherd. Then he said to his disciples, "The harvest is plentiful but the workers are few. Ask the Lord of the harvest, therefore, to send out workers into his harvest field." Matthew 9:35-38 (NIV)
Wednesday, February 12, 2014
Sunday, February 9, 2014
Insanity: doing the same thing over and over again and expecting different results. \\ Albert Einstein
We live in a culture of self satisfaction and instant gratification. So many things that we may want or need can be at our finger tips within minutes, sometimes seconds. We indulge ourselves... In shopping, work, food, social networking, whatever it may be that feels good. We are constantly bombarded with "get rich quick" and "lose weight fast" ads. We want the end result, but rarely wish to wait or put in the work for it.
Even in our salvation.
I have heard things said such as "God wants me to be happy". I have even said something similar, or at least thought it, many times. I am guilty of buying into the lie that God wants me to walk around getting my way and indulging in my every whim. We all deserve happiness, right? Well, yes. The issue is Gods version of happiness doesn't line up with our cultures self seeking version.
I'll admit, buying a new shirt can feel pretty awesome, especially when I paid $5 for it on clearance or at the thrift shop. In those instances, I can even convince myself that it was a good deed since I was so "thrifty". Going out to a fun place for lunch can turn my whole day around. But what about the next day? I am usually right back to wanting to do it all over again.
Unsatisfied.
And that is where all things of this world will leave us. Now, don't get me wrong. I'm not saying taking your job seriously is a problem. I'm not saying you shouldn't buy clothes or eat out with a friend. It's when those things become an idol that the real trouble begins. You may not see it as an idol, but when it distracts from God, that's exactly what it is. When you find yourself seeking those things before Gods will and expecting some sort of gratification to come from them, you are placing those things on a pedestal that belongs only to God.
When I have expectations of my husband and he doesn't meet them... Unsatisfied. When I pin ideas for our next home project and I begin to be unhappy with its current state... Unsatisfied. The list goes on.
The problem is that I am expecting Godly results from ungodly things. I am expecting to be satisfied with things that don't even have the ability to do so.
When I feel a fire burning inside of me to use my talents to glorify God, to minister, to serve, yet I continue on in my every day life just the same as the day before...
I am expecting to suddenly be a difference maker. I want the reward, the fulfillment, but without the work. Without the effort. With the sacrifice and total life change.
So, how do I begin to not only feel but act on my convictions? Right now, I'm not sure. I have failed at it for years. What I do know is that God sees my heart and has the ability to change it. I also know that I am eager to learn and I am ready to accept all that comes with the prayer of life change. Not just the good, but the bad, the dirty, the angry, the ugly. I'm ready to start the journey.
"What good is it, my brothers and sisters, if someone claims to have faith but has no deeds? Can such faith save them? Suppose a brother or a sister is without clothes and daily food. If one of you says to them, “Go in peace; keep warm and well fed,” but does nothing about their physical needs, what good is it? In the same way, faith by itself, if it is not accompanied by action, is dead.
But someone will say, “You have faith; I have deeds.”
Show me your faith without deeds, and I will show you my faith by my deeds. You believe that there is one God. Good! Even the demons believe that—and shudder.
You foolish person, do you want evidence that faith without deeds is useless? Was not our father Abraham considered righteous for what he did when he offered his son Isaac on the altar? You see that his faith and his actions were working together, and his faith was made complete by what he did. And the scripture was fulfilled that says, “Abraham believed God, and it was credited to him as righteousness,” and he was called God’s friend. You see that a person is considered righteous by what they do and not by faith alone.
In the same way, was not even Rahab the prostitute considered righteous for what she did when she gave lodging to the spies and sent them off in a different direction? As the body without the spirit is dead, so faith without deeds is dead." James 2:14-26
We live in a culture of self satisfaction and instant gratification. So many things that we may want or need can be at our finger tips within minutes, sometimes seconds. We indulge ourselves... In shopping, work, food, social networking, whatever it may be that feels good. We are constantly bombarded with "get rich quick" and "lose weight fast" ads. We want the end result, but rarely wish to wait or put in the work for it.
Even in our salvation.
I have heard things said such as "God wants me to be happy". I have even said something similar, or at least thought it, many times. I am guilty of buying into the lie that God wants me to walk around getting my way and indulging in my every whim. We all deserve happiness, right? Well, yes. The issue is Gods version of happiness doesn't line up with our cultures self seeking version.
I'll admit, buying a new shirt can feel pretty awesome, especially when I paid $5 for it on clearance or at the thrift shop. In those instances, I can even convince myself that it was a good deed since I was so "thrifty". Going out to a fun place for lunch can turn my whole day around. But what about the next day? I am usually right back to wanting to do it all over again.
Unsatisfied.
And that is where all things of this world will leave us. Now, don't get me wrong. I'm not saying taking your job seriously is a problem. I'm not saying you shouldn't buy clothes or eat out with a friend. It's when those things become an idol that the real trouble begins. You may not see it as an idol, but when it distracts from God, that's exactly what it is. When you find yourself seeking those things before Gods will and expecting some sort of gratification to come from them, you are placing those things on a pedestal that belongs only to God.
When I have expectations of my husband and he doesn't meet them... Unsatisfied. When I pin ideas for our next home project and I begin to be unhappy with its current state... Unsatisfied. The list goes on.
The problem is that I am expecting Godly results from ungodly things. I am expecting to be satisfied with things that don't even have the ability to do so.
When I feel a fire burning inside of me to use my talents to glorify God, to minister, to serve, yet I continue on in my every day life just the same as the day before...
I am expecting to suddenly be a difference maker. I want the reward, the fulfillment, but without the work. Without the effort. With the sacrifice and total life change.
So, how do I begin to not only feel but act on my convictions? Right now, I'm not sure. I have failed at it for years. What I do know is that God sees my heart and has the ability to change it. I also know that I am eager to learn and I am ready to accept all that comes with the prayer of life change. Not just the good, but the bad, the dirty, the angry, the ugly. I'm ready to start the journey.
"What good is it, my brothers and sisters, if someone claims to have faith but has no deeds? Can such faith save them? Suppose a brother or a sister is without clothes and daily food. If one of you says to them, “Go in peace; keep warm and well fed,” but does nothing about their physical needs, what good is it? In the same way, faith by itself, if it is not accompanied by action, is dead.
But someone will say, “You have faith; I have deeds.”
Show me your faith without deeds, and I will show you my faith by my deeds. You believe that there is one God. Good! Even the demons believe that—and shudder.
You foolish person, do you want evidence that faith without deeds is useless? Was not our father Abraham considered righteous for what he did when he offered his son Isaac on the altar? You see that his faith and his actions were working together, and his faith was made complete by what he did. And the scripture was fulfilled that says, “Abraham believed God, and it was credited to him as righteousness,” and he was called God’s friend. You see that a person is considered righteous by what they do and not by faith alone.
In the same way, was not even Rahab the prostitute considered righteous for what she did when she gave lodging to the spies and sent them off in a different direction? As the body without the spirit is dead, so faith without deeds is dead." James 2:14-26
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